Surviving Rwanda

Recently, I purchased the book Left to Tell, which is the deeply moving story of Immaculee Ilibagiza who survived the Rwandan genocide back in 1994. As you may know, an estimated 800,000 to 1,071,000 ethnic Tutsis and moderate Hutus were systematically murdered during a period of 100 days. What made the tragedy so terrible was that most western nations refused to intervene despite having received intelligence that a massacre was about to begin. In the midst of this, Immaculee’s story stands out as a testimony to how one person can make a profound difference by extending forgiveness to those individuals who had destroyed her family.

Just after the genocide started, Immaculee was able to find a safe haven in a pastor’s house who was considered to be a moderate Hutu. For over three months Immaculee and five other ladies hid in a small bathroom to avoid falling into the hands of those who were roaming the countryside to find and kill members of the Tutsi Tribe. On one occasion she heard the killers just outside the bathroom door calling her name. She knew that only an inch of plaster separated her from their machetes and spears that they were scraping along the walls. In the chaos of the moment, she heard one of the killers yell, “I have killed 399 cockroaches…Immaculee will make 400. It’s a good number to kill.” As she listened, the killers were pressuring the pastor: “Where are the Tutsis? You know what we’ll do if we find them. Where is she, Pastor? Where is Immaculee? This is the last place she was seen. Where are you hiding her?” Of course, the brave and courageous pastor did not betray the six ladies living in the bathroom. Eventually the killers moved on, but it left a deep-seated fear of the future in Immaculee and the other refuges living with her in the small, cramped bathroom.

In the midst of this terrible ordeal, Immaculee heard the Lord speaking to her, for He said, “Mountains are moved by faith, Immaculee, but if faith were easy, all the mountains would be gone. Trust in me, and know that I will never leave you. Trust in me, and have no more fear. Trust in me, and I will save you…Trust in me, and you shall live.” I’m sure these last few words changed Immaculee’s life; for now she had a promise from God that brought assurance that her life would be spared. And yet, what about the feelings of resentment and rage, even the hatred she felt for the killers – men who had butchered everyone in her family? How could she find freedom from such torment?

While reading her story, I came to realize that somewhere in her journey to freedom Immaculee learned that forgiving someone for what they have done is a personal choice we each must make. I can choose to forgive and I can choose not to forgive. For Immaculee, this happened when she was given the opportunity to meet the leader of the gang that killed her mother and brother. During a trip to the prison holding many of the killers, the leader of the gang was brought before Immaculee, and falling to his knees, he looked up to her. The guard yelled at the man, “Stand up, killer! Stand up and explain to this girl why you murdered her mother and butchered her brother…Get up, I said.” As the man was sobbing, he looked at Immaculee only for a moment. But what a moment! For in that instant – in that moment of time – Immaculee reached out and touched the man’s hands lightly, and quietly said, “I forgive you.” Later she said, “My heart eased immediately, and I saw the tension release in Felicien’s (the killer) shoulders…” In that moment the gift of forgiveness was the most important thing that Immaculee had to offer someone who had done such great harm to those whom she so dearly loved.

It was the apostle Paul who said, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13, NIV). These words are so important to us, for they keep us free and pliable in the hands of God. And most importantly, they pave the way for deep healing to occur in the lives of all people – whether victim or abuser – for in forgiveness the cloud of hatred, bitterness or anger is forever lifted.